My dearest mom,
There’s not a day that goes by that I don’t think about you several times. It’s been almost five years since you left us, and I still miss your almost daily phone calls and chance to get together for a meal or just to chat.
The world has changed so much in five years. I really think you would love the new Keurigs that allow you to make iced tea instantly — and you can record all your favorite shows now without even using a videotape.
But more importantly, of course, is family. Paige has gone five years with no recurrence of breast cancer and J.P. just keeps growing. He’ll be a teenager this year. That’s so hard to believe, but I’m sure you’re making sure the angels keep a close eye on him — and us — every day.
We’re almost becoming victims of our own success. He’s too big now for Paige to pick up by herself, and that limits her ability to go places with him by herself.
We got approval for in-home nursing in December to help Paige while I’m at work, and we’re in the process of getting a lift installed to help get him around the house. It’s something I always figured would happen eventually, but it’s hard to believe the time has come.
The holidays this year went by way too fast. For the first time that I can remember, we didn’t even have time to get our Christmas tree put up. We resorted to a small tabletop one for Walmart just so J.P. wouldn’t feel like we totally abandoned the celebration.
J.P. was admitted twice to the hospital for what I still believe is a shunt malfunction, but it has been difficult to get the neurosurgeon to tap his shunt without more obvious symptoms. The first time he was admitted, blood work showed his sodium level was out of whack, and the second was blamed on too few dirty diapers.
Things still aren’t right with J.P., and we’ve been to the doctor several times and had more blood work to try to figure out what’s going on. I’m praying for some answers, and hope they come soon.
While he doesn’t seem to be in obvious pain, he’s not himself, and seems to be having fewer wet diapers and retaining more fluid in his body. Please keep telling those angels to bless our child.
Paige is also recovering from wrist surgery on the day after Christmas. It seemed like a good time to get it done as she was waking up in pain almost every night because of carpal tunnel syndrome. She’s slowly getting better, and I thank God for that.
The crazy times during the holidays and the beginning of the new year are the examples of the times I miss you most. You were a great listener, a confidant and a prayer warrior.
While you couldn’t change difficult circumstances, you were always there with the love that only a caring mother can provide.
The world dimmed a bit when you left this Earth, but I’m sure heaven became a bit brighter at the same time.
I thank you now for the love you provided to me and my family because I don’t think I thanked you or appreciated it nearly enough when you were around.
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